The girl I was seeing and I are back to just being friends. Last week was a bit of a fluke because we're too flirty. We're nothing alike .. a vegetarian and someone who tries to no eat many carbs, someone who loves her family and someone who see's his family ever few years. Someone who believes in a Hinduistic idea of god and someone who's an atheist. Someone who wants a family and someone who doesn't want to reproduce. Me from 10 years ago would be perfect. I wonder what my end game is.
My nephew has a shotgun wedding. I had less than a month's notice and my sister/nephew didn't even invite the only two cousins we have that live in America. If I'm not even going to be able to say hi to any family I actually care about, there's no real reason in going. I don't want to drive 13 hours just to hear all about god and Jesus joining these two people because they happened to get knocked up.
I really wish she had invited our cousins. It feels wrong to not have them there.
New girl told me this morning she wants kids on day. I spent all day thinking about it; hyper aware of every parents I saw in the park and on my bike ride. I rode 80k; so I had plenty of time to think. I think in the past I've never wanted kids, but I told girls I did, because I loved them and knew it was something I could do with them. Today, I'm not so sure. I just can't morally bring someone into this world just to suffer.